And you know it. I'm a 16 year old girl who is struggling through life. Maybe that sounds stupid and overrated but I can tell you my readers, that I may be sixteen but I am not always one. Exactly... why do we even have an age? It's something that only indicates how much time you've been on earth. But every life is different and the experiences are what make your real age. Because I believe that we don't age with the years, but with what you go through every day in your life.
I've been through a lot of stuff, I now know a lot of things that I shouldn't know at my age. And most of the time I was the responsibility of a 30 year old mother. And other times I'm just a normal teenager. But... what is normal?
This thoughts have been on my mind since my father told me, in a very serious voice that scared the hell out of me, to take care of my nineteen year old sister. This might sound weird for you, but, remember our little introduction upstairs?. Yeah, your age is not exactly how old your heart and mind are. I'm not going into details. You just have to know that my older sister is actually my little sister and she has to be watched 24/7. So technically my father was telling me to babysit her while my mother and him go to a trip. I'm not going to complain about the fact that they were going on vacation, because they deserve it. They put up with a lot. But that's not what I'm writing today. Let's focus on the fact that I had to babysit my sister, go to school, do homework and take care of the house for 5 days. And be careful to take care of myself, because I tent to get sick a lot. Stressed Much.
Obviously something had to go wrong, because it's impossible that a person do so many things and everything goes right. At least not with me. Apparently is really hard being a mother and trying to focus on Greek Literature. What is in your mind 31 (24/7 24 + 7 = 31 I know, very clever. I was reading an awesome Fan Fiction, HA!) is if you kid (in this case my daughter/sister) is okay.
That's how I collapsed on Thursday. I had one of those really bad days. My day started with my sister being up early because she couldn't sleep. We talked a little and it killed me to leave her alone. I considered the possibility of skipping school, but I knew that it wasn't an option. You see, I am a senior in high school, I'm applying for university this year and I need really good grades and stuff so I can enter. So yeah, skipping school on my third week wasn't an option.
That's how I left home, getting into the bus because my usual ride was late. This bus was surrounded by little devils or children, whatever floats your boat. I still think they are little devils that scream all the time. I tried to watched it off and convinced myself that it was going to be a good day. Luckily the ride to school wasn't that long and when I arrived I smiled seeing one of my friends who was kindly enough to wait for me to get out of the bus. We walked together to school but had to split because we are in different classes.
I finally arrived to my class and something started to feel wrong about it. I really wasn't feeling good. I decided to collapse in my sit and try to sleep a little. After all I woke up at 6 am. It didn't work. But I was way to tired and just feeling weird. Until it hit me, how is my sister doing? is she okay? what if she is not feeling well? I started freaking out. And exactly in that moment our teacher started to lecture me because I hadn't filled the stupid homework mural. I seriously couldn't care less. I normally freak out when any teacher lecture me, because I normally do everything right. But this time I couldn't care less about a stupid mural. I just stayed in my sit, still trying to sleep. When it hit me, again. I'm not sure what it was. I just wanted to cry. I wanted to scream so bad. I wanted to just run away, anywhere... just away. But I didn't I just stayed there, trying to cry. I couldn't.
A little later math class started and I felt a bad headache coming. I normally don't go to the nurse when I have a headache because I am use to it. But this time I decided that I couldn't stand it anymore. So I went and took a pill. Then the day continued. I started to feel better and forgot about my break down in the morning. My friends know better than asking me what I have. Because I never give an answer. So all went it's curse. I still couldn't focus in any class thou.
Then I've been busy all this days, going to school, taking my sister out, and doing homework. Waking up really early because I was worry about her.
I love my sister, I really do and it's not her fault nor my dad's fault. It's nobody faults, that kind of things just happens. And all this made me realize why my mom is stressed all day. I really admire her now. I just had to do it for five days. She's been doing it for nineteen years. You seriously don't know how it's like till you go through it. But you know... A Little Bit Longer And I'll Be Fine.
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